Theory: Kyrgyzstan Doesn’t Exist

You may be thinking “hey, I’ve never heard of that” unless you’re an absolute nerd. But no, according to the internet, Kyrysyystan is real and not just the result of a drunk Belorussian trying to spell his cousin’s name. So, get this, apparently, it is a small country in Central Asia with just over 5 million people. 5 million, and have you ever met one? I’ve met someone from Hull, Leeds, Scotland, hell- even Cornwall. But someone from Kyrgsyzsazstan?  Have you ever met someone from Kysyansyantan?

Let’s do the maths. If the average person meets 19 different people in their life, and there are 7 million people on Earth, that means 5 people should be from Kympalybastan. Yet, despite this, no one in the entire ReverseColonoscopy staff has ever met someone from Cympalobactstan. So statistically, it shouldn’t even exist. Then again, I did drop maths after GCSE, but I think it’s relatively sound. And I got a B. Damn right. But what do you think, does Campylobacter exist?

-KDCA

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