Is Racism Real?

The world is full of controversial topics, and arguably chief amongst them is race and racism despite the concept of race having no real bearing in science. To clarify about such a controversial topic, we here at ReverseColonoscopy intend to offend as many people as possible.

So, is racism even real? To answer this question, we must first find the definition of “racism”. The dictionary definitions of it are “a contest of speed, as in running, riding, driving, or sailing” and “to engage in a contest of speed; run a race”. So well, I think. I think it is real, because like. People run a lot. Erm. I might need to do some more analysis guys. I blame the ReverseColonoscopy’s research department. 

-KD

Westminster Reveals “Northern Powerhouse”

The good folk down in Westminster have finally revealed the end product of the illustrious project dubbed the “Northern Powerhouse”. The North of England pays for its beauty and hospitable people with comparable economic poverty to much of the South, London in particular. To combat this the Tory government launched the Northern Powerhouse initiative to increase investment and infrastructure in the grim, foreign land visited only by the hardiest Southern explorers.

Unfortunately, the grand unveiling did not go to plan. Many were indeed critical of the end result. George Osborne in response to the criticisms replied “I believe we have achieved something great, however, as you all know, sacrifices had to be made for the budget. While we were originally going to put a house around the power generator, our funds ran dry after the new London skyscraper “the Phallus” went over budget. As a result, we have decided to blend the power generator into the open Northern countryside. Thank you.”

How do you feel about this? Has it lived up to your expectations? Post below.

This is the final product of the Northern Powerhouse:

-KD

omc_dg_1123px

Credit to OMC Power

New British Prime Minster Allegedly Appointed

With the American presidential elections well on their way to an underwhelming conclusion, Mainstream News organisations have failed to report on the political developments happening in the UK.
After David Cameron’s predictable shock victory in 2016 the population have grown bored of having the same PM for so long. Since then, the memes have run dry, people have become tired of complaining and if you live in places with KC Broadband you most likely don’t have access to the internet in order to complain.

Conrad Dean, a candidate from the small island of Bangladesh has recently taken his position in office to make the country a better place. Unlike past Prime Ministers the job was bestowed upon him after getting the job through the Macdonald’s monopoly scheme, a scheme which has proven great in expanding the reach of diabetes. This has received some criticism but with an extensive CV of both “Kicking ass” and “Taking names” he is more than qualified for the position. In the next few months we will be following him close to find out the developments in his campaign.
Proposals include:
– Spreading Deanism to the masses
– Replacing ‘God save the queen’ with Steel Panther’s “Glory Hole”
– Reduction in University Fee’s
– Promoting British Values
– Eating a large quantity of cake like substances

IMG_1352.JPG

-HB

Nearing Niyazov Anniversary

Start preparing your party plans, for in no less than four months it is the anniversary of Turkmenistan’s late President-for-Life Saparmurat Niyazov’s first term in office. President Niyazov, a modest celebrity and inspiration to us here at ReverseColonoscopy, is well known for humble quotes such as “I watched young dogs when I was young. They were given bones to gnaw to strengthen their teeth. Those of you whose teeth have fallen out did not chew on bones”. His wisdom was unparalleled.

To exemplify his people’s, and indeed our love for him here is a final quote:

“I’m personally against seeing my pictures and statues in the streets… But it’s what the people want”. Rest in RIP glorious leader. May your reign extend into the afterlife.

-KD

061221_niyazov_vlrg_3a.grid-4x2