Depressed statues plague university campus

In an unusual turn of events, the famous culture of city of Dhaka has recently been infiltrated by the NSA using lifesize statues. A spokesperson from the Starbucks next to the unknown, well known headquarters stated “Idk man, this shit creeps the f***uck out of me and my neighbourhood”.

Rumours seem to suggest that the strange figures may be only monitoring earth tremors for earthquake prevention, as well as texts, food consumption, airspace, average breathing temperature per hundred yards, Brains, Ear cartilage and the letter eight.
Little else is known about them apart from a few being patriotic Trump supporters, Sporting MAGA hats and seeming to have a great hatred of the country of Iraq. Shit.. I mean Syria.
– HB

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